Coming Home

Die Fremde (Outland)

During the first few days of my journey I wrote in my diary: “Is that all correct? I could be stoned on my sofa and could relax without worries. But human beings grow with their quests. Homesick and Lonely…The next few weeks won’t become easy, but I was aware from the beginning that my trip would not be a sunny walk at the beach. I want to see more from Life, I want to see how the world looks like outside my own personal world and understand what is important to other people. […] Perhaps that is the charming challenge about the Otherness: Am I successful to understand, to figure and to conquer the unknown…?”

Me traveling so long and this far means I did something I only dreamed about and NEVER thought it would ever happen. I always wanted to go beyond the conventional, to encounter the difference and be a global traveler. 

 -Well I went around the world in 119 days via 12 different airports and flew a total of 41.844,71 km (26.001,1 miles), got 2 new tattoos, smoked 1 cigarette and a few spiffs, wrote my diary in 6 notebooks and posted 34 Blogs (including this one), attracting 1349 visitors. I grilled marshmallows on active volcanos, swam through underground-rivers, relaxed in Hippytown, made out in the Castro , learned Spanish and how to surf, helped to deliver a baby, ran through coffee fincas, participated in talks about genocide and exploitation of the rural population in Latin America, went for meetings with a delegation from the Worldbank through the slums of Manila, hiked ancient rice terraces, saw the sunrise from Central America’s highest point, did participatory research with the Urban Poor, experienced first-hand the aftermaths of colonialism and Western foreign policies, ate Dim Sun in San Francisco’s China Town, survived a Typhoon, traveled via the back of a Pickup through the highlands of Guatemala, got to know the strong women of some of Manila’s relocation sites, got several times awfully drunk, watched hummingbirds, fireflies and rainbows, incredible sunsets and almost felt in love on the first sight. I went for snorkeling with the most colorful fishes over tropical reefs, saw 8 movies in the cinemas of three different countries, went on a safari in the rainforest of Borneo and observed orangutans, crocodiles and gigantic lizards, met new friends and visited old ones, visited a Buddhist monastery, saw the symphony of lights in Hong Kong, collected six new stamps in my passport and have lost my heart in so many places with so many amazing people!

However, after having experienced every day as an adventure and challenge I’m looking forward to reestablish a cozy everyday life –at least for the moment.

Die Heimat (Home)

I have asked myself thousand times what would that trip do to me, what would be the outcome, would I be able to have somewhat an enlightment and find the answers or new questions? I hoped the trip would change me, and I mean not only the two tattoos I got. But I didn’t know how those changes would look like…

But slowly, and with me being for the first few days back home, I figure some of the processes I went through during the last 4 months. 

First of all I made one of my deepest wishes come true: traveling the world. As long as I can think of I wanted to travel by myself as far as possible, see things, meet people and learn what you didn’t know it would even exist. Making it short: I have become a traveler! That group of people had always a specific attraction from my side, but I was never brave enough to try it myself. -And now- looking back to the countless memories of the trip, I have went further and did more than I could have ever possible expected or dreamed of. 

On the other hand I did not only live the life of a traveler, I have also learned about the things which come along with this lifestyle. You are not only traveling foreign countries, you are also traveling foreign places of yourself. You are not only seeking for geographical places, you are also looking for places in yourself; Places you haven’t been yet or not understood yet. Or places you have only heard about but never encountered. Essentially I did not only travel Guatemala, San Francisco, the Philippines, Malaysia and Hong Kong, I also did an important trip to myself. A trip so important to me since I needed to reflect myself and therefore understand better what I wish, hope or work for. 

I know- it sounds a lot like one of those cabalistic journey reports, but actually there are similarities: you are traveling to a foreign place to meet in the end no one less than yourself. I never understood the saying “The journey is the reward” until now! I figured it’s not reaching the goal which makes you understand yourself better- it’s the pathway which teaches you who you are!

In the end I found during my trip, in the weeks of being by myself, forced to adjust, rethink and reconsider, through all the fun and the heartache I have been through, nothing less than what “Home” means to me and where to find it! For years I was wondering and searching, looking around, trying out and make myself believe. But in the end “Home” was always right in front of me, here in Berlin- where my friends and family live, from where I can go easily abroad again to encounter new adventures and to meet my friends in the world.      

In that sense I understood a quote by T. S. Elliot in one of my most favorite books (-which also provided me company in many nights abroad: “Mary Ann in autumn” by Armistaed Maupin) as essentially important and true: 

We shall not cease from exploration, 

And the end of all our exploring, 

While be to arrive where we started, 

And know the place for the first time.

Thank you everyone, in Berlin, Cologne, Xela, San Francisco, Manila, Kota Kinabalu, Hong Kong and all the other places for your ongoing support, interest, motivating words, open ears and empathic understanding. I just had the biggest ride of my life – and I am proud that you all have been part of it!

Even though I am a little bit sad the trip is over it’s a complete new experience in my life to be back here in Berlin without the feeling I’m missing something, actually it’s the opposite: knowing that I am exactly where I want to be right now! However, the end of my trip does not mean the end of my journey:  I am ready to move on and seek out for new quests and challenges and I hope that you will be a part of it in the future as well!  

In that sense I want to dedicate a song to you, actually it’s a little bit older but not only that I always liked it in the first place, once back in the times I lived in San Francisco, they played the song in the End Up therefore I think it’s somewhat more “transnational”.

 THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!